Why bother writing?

Why would anyone in his or her right mind would want to be a writer? Tim Bete, director of the Erma Bomebck Writers' Workshop, answered that question in his remarks at the workshop's speakers' dinner on Fri., March 26, 2004.

Thanks Vicki. It’s wonderful to be here tonight! I hope you all are enjoying the workshop as much as I am.

You may have read Craig Wilson’s column last week about the writing life and the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop.

Craig wrote:

“The workshop addresses myriad writing issues, even the age-old question of why anyone in his or her right mind would want to be a writer when you could have a real job that paid better and didn't embarrass the family…Someone in the course of the three days will ask me how he can get my job. I will tell him what I always tell people: ‘It's yours. Take it.’”

Craig provided some sage advice in his column. In response to the question, “Do I think they should quit their jobs and become full-time novelists?” Craig answered, “Not if they like to eat.”

To the question, “What advice would you give to young people starting out?” Craig replied, “Flee while you can!”

Craig isn’t the first writer to advise newcomers to the field.

The novelist Sinclair Lewis didn't mince words. Once, he was giving a lecture at Columbia University on the subject of writing.

"How many here are really serious about being writers?" he asked. Almost everyone in the audience raised his or her hand.

"Then why aren't you all home writing?" Lewis shouted and stormed out.

Mark Twain had advice for writers, too. Twain received a letter from a young man who said he had heard eating fish stimulated the brain and could help him become a successful writer. He asked Twain if he thought this was true. Twain replied that he had heard about the theory and perhaps it might work.

"In your case, however," wrote Twain, "if your lengthy letter is representative of your literary skill, may I suggest you get started right away. I recommend you begin with one whale per week."

Some writers have even narrowed down the keys to success. Somerset Maugham claimed there were three rules for writing a novel. “Unfortunately,” he said, “no one knows what they are.”

Even if you know how to write, you need a thick skin to succeed.

“You need the courage to submit your story and find out how good or bad you are,” said Erma Bombeck at a writers’ workshop at the University of Dayton in 1982. “And,” she continued, “if you think it gets any easier for professional writers, you’re wrong.”

Taking criticism is difficult. You put yourself on the line every time you submit something to an editor.

An inexperienced author sent his first novel to a publisher with a note that read, "The characters in this book are purely fictitious and bear no resemblance whatever to anyone living or dead."

The publisher responded quickly with "And that's exactly what's wrong with it!"

You need a thick skin to succeed.

But, as Craig alluded to in his column, the most difficult part of being a writer is that you have to actually write something.

Writing is hard work. There’s the story of a writer who dies and goes to Heaven. St. Peter says to the writer, “Before I show you Heaven, let me give you a tour of Hell.”

As they enter Hell, they see hundreds of writers, bent over their keyboards, slaving away, sweating, discouraged, working like crazy and just plain miserable.

Then, St. Peter and the writer go back to Heaven. After seeing Hell, the writer can’t wait to gaze upon paradise. But, the writer is shocked when he gets to Heaven. The writers in heaven are bent over their keyboards, slaving away, sweating, discouraged, working like crazy and miserable, too.

The writer is perplexed. “What’s the difference between Heaven and Hell?” he asks.

St. Peter responds: “In Heaven you get published!”

But, even after you’re published the criticism can be brutal.

Mark Twain, commenting on author Henry James, said, “It is the kind of book that, once you put it down, you can't pick it up again.”

That’s brutal criticism.

Some critics at least try to be kind. Commenting on a book he read, Abraham Lincoln was overheard saying, “For people who like that kind of a book, that is the kind of a book they will like.”

But, some writers persevere and achieve their goals. There was a young man who professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff the whole world will read…stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level…that will make them cry and scream!"

He succeeded. He works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

You need to be careful what you wish for.

So, why write?

With all these things against us, why would anyone in his or her right mind would want to be a writer? If we wanted financial success, glamour and fame, we’d be better off working at the drive-through window at McDonalds!

Why write? Why bother?

The answer comes from Kurt Vonnegut, one of my favorite authors. In his book, Timequake, Vonnegut describes his experience writing and teaching writing. To the question, “Why bother?” Vonnegut says:

“Here’s my answer: Many people need desperately to receive this message: ‘I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people don’t care about them. You are not alone.’”

That is a powerful, healing message for a reader to receive: “You are not alone.” And, I would contend, “You are not alone,” is the primary message of all humor and human interest writing. It’s what made Erma Bombeck’s writing resonate with so many people. Erma was the first to tell them, “You are not alone…My kids drive me crazy, too.” “You are not alone…I hate housework, too.”

“You are not alone” is a healing message for readers. It is also a healing message for writers. Writers need to know they aren’t alone in their struggles and frustrations.

The writing life is difficult.

There is little glamour. It can be a solitary occupation. That’s why encouragement is so important. When Erma Bombeck came to the University of Dayton, she transferred from a college at which she was told that she would never be a writer. She was told to pick another career. At UD, Erma met Bro. Tom Price who told her three little words -- “You can write!”

“I needed that encouragement at the time” Erma said. “It's all I needed as an impetus to keep going, and it sustained me for a very long time."

Those three words launched a career of a dozen best-selling books and more than 4,000 syndicated columns.

Encouragement and showing writers that they are not alone are the goals of the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. We don’t want to give false praise or unrealistic hope. But, we want to nurture writers who have the skills to succeed. To prod them along. To keep their spirits up, so they persevere. We want to encourage writers, in the same way that Bro. Price encouraged Erma. At the writers’ workshop, we want attendees to realize they aren’t alone, so the attendees – in turn – can tell their readers that they are not alone.

That is the mission of this workshop.

It is a mission shared by the workshop’s sponsors. Their support makes it possible for us to encourage writers. Thanks to all of the sponsors who so generously support this workshop.

While we host the workshop, it is the words of the speakers that do the actual encouraging and teaching. They generously share their knowledge and experience with attendees. Thanks to all of the speakers who support the workshop through their participation.

Thanks to the Bombeck family for their support and encouragement of the workshop. None of what we do would be possible without them. We’re honored to have them here with us tonight.

And, finally, thanks to the workshop staff for the hard work and dedication that make all of this possible.

This writers’ workshop is a labor of love for us. We’re passionate about our mission and glad all of you are part of it.

I often wonder, what would have happened if Bro. Tom Price hadn’t encouraged Erma. Certainly, Erma’s great talent would have lead to success. But, perhaps, Bro. Price’s encouragement accelerated the process a bit. Perhaps, his encouragement provided Erma’s fans with a few more columns than if he hadn’t spoken those words. We’ll never know. But, we do know that the words were important to Erma.

We’ll also never know the exact impact of this workshop on attendees. But, I think more than 300 writers will leave this workshop ready to take on the world. They will be highly motivated and full of new ideas to try. And, those 300 will be ready to reach millions of readers with this message:

“I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people don’t care about them. You are not alone.”

It’s a wonderful feeling to be part of those writers’ lives and to help impart that message to their readers. I hope you feel as much joy in being part of this workshop I do. And, I look forward to working together on future workshops with you.

Tim Bete is the director of the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop