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ERMA BOMBECK WRITERS' WORKSHOP NEWSLETTER
University of Dayton
April 2007
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Dear writer:
to use. There are so many of them and I didn't have time to compare and contrast the
contracts and terms of dozens of different companies. Then I found Mark Levine's book,
of work and introduced me to POD companies I had never heard of. Mark's unique
background as a lawyer and author were the perfect combination to tear apart POD contracts.
One of most important things that hit me while reading Mark's book was that you really have
to know what services you need before picking a POD company. I was looking for a publisher
that paid high royalty rates and was great at book design. I wasn't interested in marketing
services because I knew I could handle that myself.
I ended up picking Cold Tree Press to publish Guide to Pirate Parenting because they
specialize in book design. The company's CEO, Peter Honsberger, was a book designer
before he started Cold Tree Press. The entire publishing process with Cold Tree Press
was wonderful, and my book was published less than three months from when I submitted
my manuscript. I couldn't be happier with how Guide to Pirate Parenting came out.
So, if you're considering self-publishing a book, the first thing you should do is get a copy
book publishing process more enjoyable and more profitable.
Keep writing!
Tim Bete
Latest news...
ERMA BOMBECK WRITING COMPETITION WINNERS
We had more than 1,300 entries for this year's Erma Bombeck Writing Competition.
This year's winners are:
DAYTON HUMOR CATEGORY
Winner
Dave Hoskins (Dayton, Ohio) for his essay, “Road Sage”
Honorable mention
Jennifer Wagley (Dayton, Ohio), "Dogged Devotion”
Charlene Kochensparger (Centerville, Ohio), “Not Quite Martha”
DAYTON HUMAN INTEREST CATEGORY
Winner
Donna Hrkman (Dayton, Ohio) for her essay, “The Anniversary”
Honorable mention
Lisa Cairney (Dayton, Ohio), “From Her Mother to Her Other”
Nelson Lackings (Dayton, Ohio), “I Never Even Got His Name”
Cynthia Dunlevy (New Carlisle, Ohio), “A Blessed Reason”
Christina Cahall (Kettering, Ohio),“My Grandma Tillie”
Celia Elliott (Centerville, Ohio), “I Knew Her When”
Kimberly Adams (Dayton, Ohio), “What Isabella Taught Me”
GLOBAL HUMOR CATEGORY
Winner
LouAnn Edwards (Beaverton , Ore.) for her essay, “Mom on the Sauce”
Honorable mention
Brian Cormier (Moncton, NB, Canada), “The Kotex Kid Strikes Again!”
Del Shannon (Boulder, Colo.), “Republican Hair”
GLOBAL HUMAN INTEREST CATEGORY
Winner
Kathleen Norman (Wilmington, Ohio) for her essay, “Gravity”
Honorable mention
Lynette Sheffield (Bend, Ore.), “Not My Son”
Rosie Sorenson (Richmond, Calif.), “The Jo y of Cooking”
Joann Burand (Anderson, Ind.), “A Sister’s Love”
Dianna Graveman (St. Charles, Missouri), “Badge of Honor”
Angie Klink (Lafayette, Ind.), “Kindergarten Karma”
Sharon Cook (Beverly, Mass.), “My Mother's Coat”
Lois Gordon (Sunderland, Canada), “Dandelions Don't Grow in November”
Don Perkins (Des Moines, Iowa), “Below The Dam”
Darla Curry (The Woodlands, Texas), “Black Magic Doesn't Impress Daddy”
THE 11 FEATURES OF HUMOR
Arizona State University Professors Alleen and Don Nilsen outline the 11 basic types of humor: Read more.
GIVING UP OR GOING ON
Lynn Colwell suggests focusing more on the possibility than the probability. Read more.
NSNC CONFERENCE HAS INCREDIBLE LINEUP
The 31st Annual National Society of Newspaper Columnists Conference will take place in Philadelphia from June 21 to 24, 2007. Speakers include Dave Barry, Bill O'Reilly, Robin Givhan and Clarence Page. Read more.
WILL ROGERS IS A HIT
The March 15-17 Will Rogers Writers' Workshop was a huge succes. Read more.
HUMOR vs. TRUTH
An interesting article in Slate asks, "Does artistic license give humorists the right to remember their stories more vividly than they actually happened and still call them real?" Read more.
GOD, INC.
Independent filmmaker Francis Stokes, in his wildly popular Web series "God, Inc.," is asking a the existential question: What if God's office was like one of ours? Read more.
BUCKLEY'S NEW BOOK GETTING RAVE REVIEWS
"It's very easy to be a satirist in America today," Christopher Buckley says dryly. "You just need 10 fingers and a keyboard, children." Read more.
COMEDY WRITER OFFERS 22 MINUTES OF TIPS
Irwin Barker, a comedy writer for CBC’s This Hour Has 22 Minutes, has advice for humor writers. Read more.
THREE GUYS WALK INTO A COMEDY CLUB
They say that dying is easy, but that comedy is tough. Not many people are damaged enough to subject themselves to the potential for very public failure by agreeing to take up a microphone in front of a room of strangers. Read more.
ONION-FLAVORED FAKE NEWS VIDEO GOES ONLINE
Having already blossomed as a newspaper, Web site and book publisher, The Onion — perhaps the most dominant provider of fake news anywhere — is bringing its brand of humor to the hot medium of the moment: Online video.Read more.
THAT DIFFICULT FIRST NOVEL
There has never been a tougher time to be a debut novelist -- only a tiny fraction receive six-figure advances, and most manuscripts end up in the shredder. So, what makes or breaks the first-timers? Read more.
FACE TO FACE WITH STEVE MARTIN
Steve Martin on Inspector Clouseau, Carson, and how he got so funny. Read more.
Humor writer of the month
KELLEY COUSINEAU
Kelley Cousineau is a contributor to The Funny Times and writes the column, "What's the Matter with Mommy?" She also has a book out by the same title. Kelley's column can be read at Quirkee.com. Visit her Web site.
Book giveaway
Each month we give away a book on writing to a few subscribers to our newsletter. If you're subscribed, you're entered to win! This issue's winners are:
* Tim Wesemann
* Rick Steelhammer
* Mark Brandenburg
Who's publishing what?
WORKSHOP FACULTY
PAST WORKSHOP ATTENDEES
DOG DIET WINS: Patti Lawson's book, The Dog Diet, won the Maxwell Award for the Dog Humor Book of the Year from the Dog Writers Association of America.
IN THE SOUP: Ann Morrow has had two pieces published in Chicken Soup books. "Every Mom Is A Working Mom" appeared in Chicken Soup for the Busy Mom's Cookbook, and "The Exercise Bike" appeared in Chicken Soup for the Dieter's Soul.
GEORGE BARKS: Nancy George had a column published in Bark magazine, a publication about dogs, not trees.
OTHER PUBLISHING NEWS
A VERY LONG TIME: Geri Timperley and Nikki Arro have published the children's book, A Very Long Time. which helps kids grasp the meaning of time and how long it may take for parents to return from deployment. The book is perfect for families of service men and women with children between the ages of four and eight, but it is a heartwarming story for everyone.A portion of each sale will go to military families who live in Minnesota.
COWIE'S SEQUEL: Draumr Publishing has contracted the sequel to The Adventures of Guy, ... written by a guy (probably). Norm Cowie's second book is The Next Adventures of Guy ... more wackiness, which will be in bookstores in September 2007. Cowie also had one of his articles picked for Cynic Magazine's Best of 2006 issue.
ELLIS WINS: Sean Ellis has been published in The Funny Times and also placed in the Top Ten of last year's Robert Benchley Society Contest. He has also won first, second and numerous finalists spots in HumorPress.com's bi-monthly contest. He found all of these opportunities in this newsletter.
AT THE BEACH: Audrey D. Mark will have a story published in Chicken Soup For The Beach Lover's Soul. Audrey found that opportunity in this newsletter.
SPORTS HUMOR: David Thomas, columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, received the President's Award from the McClatchy Company, the nation's second-largest newspaper company. The President's Award is the company's top honor and is awarded for journalistic excellence. Dave worked with an animator to create 18 weekly episodes of "The NFL Cowboys View," a takeoff of "The View."
Markets, contests and more
ATTENTION BOOMER GIRLS: Looking for essays (humorous and otherwise) by boomer-aged women on all aspects of life over 40 for BoomerGirl.com, a new Web site created for women born in the Baby Boom (1946 to 1964). Keep essays under 700 words in length. Submit with name and e-mail address to herspectives@boomergirl.com.
ADOPTED SOUL: Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul is collecting true stories sharing the love, laughter, longing, and life events of adopted families. Deadline is May 31, 2007. Submit stories (1000 words or less) online at www.ChickenSoup.com.
CHRISTMAS MEMORIES: Christmas Memories, an anthology of True Stories that Touch the Heart and Renew the Spirit, is looking for submissions -- true inspiration stories that have dramatic flair, pack a punch, and bring all of the senses into play. The best stories will invoke tears or laughter and leave the reader with a satisfied smile. Word count should be between 800 and 1,200. Deadline May 30, 2007. Send submissions to Helen Kay Polaski.
DIVORCED SOUL: Chicken Soup for the Soul is looking for inspirational, warm, heartfelt, and funny stories for their newest upcoming title, Chicken Soup for the Divorced Soul. Deadline is May 1, 2007. Read more.
LOOKING FOR GAG WRITERS: Cartoonist Bruce Robinson is looking for humor writers to produce gag copy on spec. For more information, contact Bruce.
SAVE THE PUN: Become a member of The International Save the Pun Foundation and you will be entitled to 12 issues of the Pundit, as well as a news release about The Ten Best Stressed Puns of the Year and an invitation to the Annual Pun Dinner (an international gathering of paranamours). There motto is, "A day without puns is like a day without sunshine. There's gloom for improvement." Read more.
WORKING MOM'S SOUL: Chicken Soup for the Working Mother’s Soul will share the trials and tribulations, happiness and hilarities of being a working mom, inside or outside the home. You may submit more than one story, whether original or a favorite from magazines, newspapers, or other sources. For each story selected in the book, a 50-word biography will be included about the author and a permission fee of $200 per story and $50 per poem will be paid. Deadline is March 1, 2007. Please submit your story through their Web site at www.chickensoup.com.
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NETWORK WITH OTHER HUMOR WRITERS: Network with other humor writers. Join the e-mail discussion group for past attendees of the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop and those who would like to attend in the future. Join now.
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SUGGEST A RESOURCE: If you have a favorite book or Web site, let us know at bete@udayton.edu.
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Copyright 2007, University of Dayton
