TB: How did you get your start writing?
LAJ: I believe there was a crayon (probably purple) and a nice fresh wall involved. My first written word was "jalapeno," although to everyone who read it, it appeared to say "puppy." My writing career quickly expanded to include book reports, poetry and an occasional ransom note of the "If you ever want to see the dishes washed, place my allowance in a brown paper bag on the back stoop" type.
Although I wrote all through high school and college, it wasn't funny stuff. My writing role models at the time were Sylvia Plath and Edgar Alan Poe (aren't they a hoot?). Is it any wonder in high school I was voted most likely to depress people?
My first comedic inspiration was Dorothy Parker. She helped me understand you could be witty and intelligent. Living in Texas during my formative years (as opposed to those years where I was mostly just a gelatinous substance that jiggled when people walked by), girls weren't thought to be capable of either wit or intelligence. So Dorothy helped me see the light. As did Flannery O'Connor. Erma Bombeck was the first modern day female humorist I discovered, and it was then I realized that everyday life could be funny.
My official humor writing "career" started when I was paid $3 for a joke from a joke-writing service. Now I write columns, books, post-it pads, greeting cards, bumperstickers, jokes, and aprons ("My other apron burned in the fire" is mine). And if you've been in any public bathroom on the west coast, chances are you've seen my work there as well.
TB: How many books have you written? Where else has your writing been published?
LAJ: I've had ten published books, but I've written around twenty-seven. Okay, exactly twenty-seven. Many serve as excellent homes to spiders. A few are currently circulating the desks of publishers and editors, collecting a variety of rejection letters. Letters with sentiments such as "You're refreshingly funny and smart and we love your writing style. However, we published something humorous last year, so our quota has been filled for the decade." I'm still waiting on the letter that says "You're a no-talent hack, but we have room in our catalog for someone just like you. Welcome aboard."
Among the books currently looking for publication are:
Carbon Dating: Relating and Mating after 40,
Does This Book Makes Me Look Fat: Funny Things Women Wonder About,
Laugh Lines are Funny: 150 Things You Know Now that You're a Woman Over 40, You Can Be An Extraordinary Person in Just A Year.
In addition to my published books (Andrews McMeel Universal, Whole Person, and Comedy Workout Publishing are my publishers), my work has regularly been published in The Comic News, Family Circle, Funny Times, InspiredLiving.com, CoffeeRooms.com, and Better Homes and Gardens Special Interest Publications. Until the magazine folded, I was the humor columnist for Reader's Digest New Choices. I've been irregularly published in Reader's Digest, Good Housekeeping, Los Angeles Times, Dog Fancy, Nervy Girl and Women's Journal.
TB: How did you get an agent? Does he/she represent all your work (e.g., speeches, writing, stand up)?
LAJ: I have a separate agent for speaking than for writing. The speaking agent found me. I think she had a private detective stalk me for a few weeks before giving me a call.
I've had three literay agents, all of whom I met at pitch sessions at The Willamette Writers' Conference. I've learned a few things from this experience:
1. If an agent is drunk when she agrees to take you on, that might not be a good thing.
2. Any agent who also does a psychic reading at the pitch session may be on the wrong career path.
3. Following an agent into the bathroom and pitching your book idea while he/she is "indisposed" is actually a very good strategy. Assuming of course it's not a Porta-Potty.
I don' t have an agent for stand-up. I run a stand-up comedy troupe called The Comedy Workout and I serve as the agent for the group. We're non-traditional comics -- instead of traveling from bar to bar, we stay put in a dinner theater and change our sets every month. We made absolutely no money, but have never had anything thrown at us, so we figure we've come out even if you calculate in dry cleaning expenses.
TB: You've created an entire career around humor even though you teach serious subjects such as wellness and stress management. How did you develop your "humor" career so you were able to do it full time?
LAJ: I guess that depends on your definition of "career" and "full time." The real story is this: At age 32, I took a comedy writing class as a way to recover from my divorce to my first husband, The Evil One. I never knew I had a talent for humor writing until that class. From there I took a stand-up class and was hooked, despite the fact that the first time I "stood up" was at a cowboy bar in Houston, TX. Try being a feminist comic when the entire audience is chewing tobacky and playing with their firearms!
My "career" at the time was wellness. I taught classes in exercise, nutrition and stress management. Little by little, I started integrating humor into my teaching and presentation. Then into the newsletter and flyers. A few years later, I decided I'd like to make a go of just writing and performing humor, so I moved to Oregon (I figured with all that rain they really needed a good laugh; besides there were probably fewer guns). I gave myself a year to turn a profit. It's now been 9 years and I'm still able to support myself, my two giant wiener dogs, and my perennial habit.
All my work today, even presentation about serious topics, centers around how humor can change your health and your life. I'm totally committed to humor as a lifestyle.
TPB: You quote Jimmy Buffett on your Web site ("If we didn't laugh, we'd all go insane.") Which Buffett song do you think is the best:
A Pirate Looks At Forty
Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes
We Are The People Our Parents Warned Us About
Fins
LAJ: What, Why Don't We Get Drunk isn't an option? Title-wise, I think Mental Floss is great! But Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitudes expresses my favorite sentiments. And even though I'm a vegetarian, I love to rock out to Cheeseburger in Paradise. Pencil Thin Mustache is also a great tune, especially when dancing with dachshunds.
My favorite musical philosopher is Don Henley of the Eagles. I can't decide which is my favorite line: "So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key" or "Get over it."
TB: What tips would you give to someone trying to break into humor writing?
LAJ: First, be able to make yourself laugh and have confidence that no matter what 25-30 rejection letters say, you are funny. Funny is highly subjective; if you don't believe in yourself, you're doomed.
Second, write something every day. Even if you're just filling in a dental history questionnaire, use your sense of humor. Humor writing is something you learn by doing. Too many writers write one funny thing and are disappointed when they can't sell it to someone.
Third, eat plenty of chocolate.
Fourth, be flexible. I often have editors asking if I can changes the third paragraph (why is it always the third paragraph) and I think it's my willingness to do so that has helped my career. Don't get so attached to your work that you can't accept suggestions .
Fifth, surround yourself with funny. I hang out with funny people (it helps that I teach humor writing and stand-up) and it really keeps my humor juices flowing (sometimes I snort them out my nose).
Sixth, I can't remember what this one is.
Seventh, never have more than six rules.
TB: Has winning the Erma Bombeck Writing Contest changed your life?
LAJ: I've never gotten so much positive feedback from anything I've written as I have from my Erma Bombeck entry. It zipped across the Internet and I've gotten e-mail from as far away as Sweden as as close as my next-door-neighbor (who after only nine short years now knows my name!) I'm hoping that the award will also help one or more of my current book manuscripts get accepted by a publisher. But mostly my life has changed because when I wear the sash that says "2003 Erma Bombeck Writing Contest Winner" with the tiara to the grocery store, I get served much, much faster.
TB: Have you had to get a restraining order to keep Tom Cruise from stalking you? If not, have you ever called Tom Cruise and asked him to stalk you?
LAJ: No, Tom Cruise hasn't been a problem. Harrison Ford and George Clooney, however, are trouble. They're always camped out on my front lawn, trampling my crocuses and leaving empty Twinkies wrappers behind. I tried a feral celebrity trap and neuter program, but so far I've been unable to catch them. They're wiley.
(c) 2003, University of Dayton
