WRITER, COMMEDIAN DON NOVELLO OF "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" FAME

BRINGS "LAZLO TOTH" TO UD'S ERMA BOMBECK WRITERS' WORKSHOP

by Tim Bete

After being rejected for California's poet laureate position, one might assume Don Novello would be down. But the writer, actor and comedian has made rejection an art through his letters from Lazlo Toth.

In 1972, Novello created Toth -- an enthusiastic letter writer whose facetious missives and their replies were collected in two bestselling books. Novello as Toth has returned with From Bush to Bush: The Lazlo Toth Letters (Simon and Schuster, 2003), which includes his poet laureate application letter. Novello is best known for playing Father Guido Sarducci -- the gossip columnist and rock critic for the Vatican newspaper -- on the NBC-TV comedy series, “Saturday Night Live.”

In his 30 years of letter writing, Novello has mailed prank letters to hundreds of politicians and corporations. For example, Novello sent a letter from Toth to the president of the Campbell Soup Co. Toth suggested downsizing the letters in alphabet soup to A-N-D-Y-W-A-R-H-O-L. His reasoning? It "will appeal to those people who like Andy Warhol, as well as to people who don't like the alphabet. And, I'm one of both."

Novello says there are two constants in his decades of correspondence: England's royal family "always answers on really nice paper" and "everyone lies" -- even the poets.

In one letter, Toth nominated himself for the post of California poet laureate, submitting "The Pumpkin in the Birdcage (Poem for an impeachment trial)" as a sample of his work. Quincy Troupe, who was selected over Toth for the post, later resigned after being challenged for embellishing his resume.

"When the poets lie, we're screwed," said Novello. "The Council for the Arts picks the top three poet laureate contenders but the governor picks the final person."

Novello tried to run in California's recent gubernatorial election. In an ironic twist for a man who writes letters under an assumed name, Novello didn’t get enough valid signatures on his petition to be put on the ballot.

"I got 98 signatures, but only 64 were valid," said Novello. "I didn’t have time to get more, and they kept my check for $3,500."

Novello has one suggestion for new governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger: Make Lazlo Toth the Golden State's poet laureate.

Novello will speak at the University of Dayton's Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop on March 25-27, 2004. Other speakers who will pay tribute to the life and work of Erma Bombeck, include Jill Conner Browne (New York Times best-selling author of the Sweet Potato Queens' books), Karyl Miller (Emmy award-winning writer-producer who worked on "The Cosby Show" and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show"), Craig Wilson (USA Today columnist and author of "It's the Little Things: An Appreciation of Life's Simple Pleasures") and Bruce Cameron (syndicated humor columnist and New York Times best-selling author of "8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter"). Writers can register for the workshop at www.HumorWriters.org. The cost is $249.

Born and raised in Ohio, where he majored in economics at the University of Dayton, Novello lived in New York, Cleveland and Chicago before leaving to try his hand at comedy writing on the West coast.  In the coffee shops and comedy clubs of San Francisco and Los Angeles, Novello developed a stand-up routine and introduced the comic persona of Father Guido Sarducci.

Novello has taken his live comedy around the world, starring in his own HBO specials, and making numerous late-night appearances on Johnny Carson and David Letterman.  He has also recorded several albums, including the Grammy nominated “Father Guido Sarducci -- Live at St. Douglas Convent." He has stepped out of character to appear on screen in the movie “Head Office” and in Francis Ford Coppola’s films, “Tucker: The Man and His Dreams,” “New York Stories” and “God Father III,” where he played Dominick Abbondondo, publicist to the mob.  Most recently he was the voice of Vinnie in Disney’s “Atlantis."

What's the worst part of writing letters to politicians and large corporations?

"Some times it takes so long to hear back, said Novello. "And usually, they don't answer your question."