Who Wants to Be A TV Host?
It’s not every day an invitation to audition as a TV host shows up on e-mail, and that’s what happened to me. I’m a humor columnist with a Web site, A Slice of Sudden Laughter. I’m featured in some newspapers and I’m trying to build my writing business like anyone else. I think my column is funny, but my 150 weekly subscribers wouldn’t make Dave Barry tremble.
Finding Nemo in a worldwide ocean carried better odds than a TV reality series finding me. How on earth did I, a little guppy, get pulled in with the really big tuna? Had a TV producer mistakenly sent an email meant for Margaret Cho to me?
Starry-eyed (and a bit perplexed), I’m happy to share a tale of encouragement to others.
For those who read the last page of a novel first, this is what steered serendipity my way: being a humor columnist, having a Web site, and attending the 2004 Erma Bombeck Writer’s Conference in Dayton, Ohio.
Now, first things first: in late May, Optomen Productions was searching for a new host for a pilot reality series on Lifetime Channel. I received an email, which said, “…I enjoy reading your articles on the Internet and I think your sensibility might be perfect for the show… I’d love to talk to you more about the show…”
Stunned, my first reaction was, ‘“Is this a porno site? They’re getting incredibly inventive with ways to get you to click on.”
The message detailed a pilot series called, “You’re Not the Man I Married.” This was my take on the show’s premise: A wife is sick and tired of living in a romance-drained swamp of a marriage, and wants her husband to change. The TV host would put him through his paces in an attempt to restore him to the Prince Charming his wife first knew and loved, i.e., the man she married.
Furrowing my brow, I thought, What the…? This can’t be for real.
Dialing the Manhattan phone number, I spoke to Brooke Parker, the associate producer, who explained they were considering different approaches to a TV host, who might end up being a relationship expert, a psychologist or a professional comedian. Brooke was also searching (and rooting) for an “unknown” personality.
I listened, thinking, “Hmm, I certainly have that qualification down cold.”
I asked the question every little dog wonders when a potential adoption approaches its cage.
“How did you find me?”
She said, “I did a search on the Internet for female humor writers and your Web site came up. Can you send a demo tape of yourself by Friday? We just want an idea of what you’re like on camera.”
And like a puppy hoping for adoption, I decided against lessening my appeal by yapping too much. Just give quiet thanks and send in the demo, I advised myself. That was my first and only conversation with Parker.
It was time to call Parker again. It would be fine and dandy to share my experience, but wouldn’t paid registrants want to know the inside skinny on the search process? More probing journalists would grill me on the question, “Why you?” More importantly, how could serendipity tap them on the shoulder, too?
I e-mailed Parker about this and said, “It would be a kick to share this experience and any kind of advice from you would be very encouraging and inspiring to others.”
Brooke Parker was very gracious, and spoke to me that night.
First, Parker explained she was hired by Lifetime Channel to find likely hosts for the pilot series, “You’re Not the Man I Married.” Once she finds the candidates, her job is done. An associate producer, she described herself as a researcher or “curator,” and said her gift is searching for talent. The Internet is her main source.
She said, “Production companies have an idea for a pilot, they explain the type of person or people to cast and I go out and find them. I’m very guerilla about it.”
When considering possible hosts, it would have been easiest to target relationship experts or psychologists, but Parker was inclined toward the “unknown” personality.
Parker also mentioned the huge success of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” and other reality series, which prove “unknowns” can carry a show.
Maybe she has a soft spot for “unknowns” because she herself had worked as a secretary for many years. In 1999, she worked for Ridley Scott (director of Alien, Gladiator, Black Hawk Down, and others) who gave Parker a chance to do what she does today, and she began her new career with Sundance Channel’s “TV Lab,” putting together pilots.
She said, “I believe the best people are people who don’t work in the field. The less direct approach is to find people who think about relationship, or write about it, and I considered them for positions of authority. “
Hence, humor columnists and Erma Bombeck was the bar against which Parker measured potential candidates.
She said, “I thought about the sensibilities of Lifetime Channel. I love Lifetime and who would represent Lifetime better than Erma Bombeck. I grew up reading her. I love her. She had an interesting blend of edginess, a user-friendly sarcasm. She’d be the bad-ass of a very good neighborhood.”
Parker went straight to the Web, and discovered the attendees’ list to the 2004 Erma Bombeck Writers Conference. She then visited the Web sites posted by female humor writers. (That’s how she found Marybeth Hicks, Maggie Van Ostrand and me).
She said, “I looked at individual sites, and it was great. I didn’t invite all the attendees, just the ones who fit the sensibilities.”
Using other sources, Parker also contacted relationship experts, psychologists and professional comedians to submit demos in order to round out a “creative menu for casting.”
I was under the assumption Parker’s casting call went out to hundreds, if not thousands of people.
She said, “In total, I invited about 100 people to submit demos. That’s not bad to find one person. It was an elite group, and everyone brought a different taste.”
She continued, “If people want to know how this can happen to them, it’s all about the Web. It’s amazing how on-line journals are impacting the publishing and entertainment industry. More people are more likely to read you on the Internet. I read in the New Yorker about a publisher whose exclusive task is to read through different blogs on the Web to find the next great talent. Before, if you weren’t published, how could anyone find you? You’d be out of the selection process, but now the Web has opened it up for writers. It’s essential for writers to look into ways to post themselves on the Web. Learn how the Internet operates, how they can place themselves effectively on search engines and on Google. The same principles which businesses apply to Internet marketing also apply to writers. Get linked on as many sites as possible. It’s essential to know your audience. Even more essential is for writers to know their 'product' intimately and find the niches that uniquely fit their writing. To get a random opportunity like this, put yourself out there.”
Parker mentioned she is still trying to find an effective way to search blogs by subject matter.
Since launching my Web site in October 2002, I have expanded my writing business. It has brought me many opportunities much faster than my previous marketing route to editors of “snail-mail-to-round-file.”
In this crazy TV host episode, what directly helped me was attending the 2004 Erma Bombeck Writers Conference, and posting my Web site address, and I guess having just enough “user-friendly sarcasm” to spark a contact.
A final decision will be made in London by Optomen’s executive producers around July. Being invited to submit a demo was exhilarating. It won’t hurt my itty-bitty feelings if a reality series does not become my reality. Encouragement is a divine blessing, and that’s how I interpreted this episode. A sign to stay the course, as in keep laughing, keep writing.
I share this information with you because it’s a big world and there’s room for all us. Isn’t it wonderful to believe anything can happen? Put it out there! See you on a search engine soon!
Suzette Martinez Standring is a humor columnist who lives in Milton, MA. Her work appears in Boston-area publications. She will be the 2004-2006 president for the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, as of 6/13/04. Visit her Web-site, A Slice of Sudden Laughter.
(c) 2004, Suzette Martinez Standring
